148: What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you

I'm turning 16!!!!!!!!!! In like 9 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm kinda sad cause I dont get to have a big party like I hoped. I just want to have a really fun time with everyone... and dont have to worry or stress about being a hostess, thats why I really enjoyed my previous parties (cause they're not my responsibility) And I wanna dress up on my sixteenth birthday!!!
hmmm, i dont really know what else I'm stressed about, I dont really wanna celebrate my SIXTEENTH you know.. cause honestly I dont see it as much of a big deal, I really just wanna have fun with everyone, but without the context of me being a hostess and like, worrying if everyone is okay, and stuff... And plus I'd feel like, "can everyone really mix together?" something along those lines
and if I just take the bandits out, I'd feel really bad cause I can't say "thank you" properly to other friends (YES i have other friends, -_- and I DO get text messages..)

And I'm obsessed with japanese boys again

and korean drama

personal prefference ;D

"We'll Take Control Of The World If That's All We Have To Hold Onto, A Dream"

xxx

Ohno Satoshi

147: i don no tourist

A few days in japan from Charlesque on Vimeo.

xxx

Matsujun

146: never ending

http://hmmiwonderwhatif.blogspot.com/

check it out ;D

oh and i got bangs that looks (a lot -_-) like this person's -_-

xxx


inoue mao

145: burning the midnight oil... hopefully i can wake up for school tomorrow

I just finished watching this drama series, and it taught me a lot on relationships, like the super basic stuff... its not that deep.. its more of a slap in the face
so here it is!

even if we were to be in a relationship wed lose interest of each other once we see each others faults.
relationships are scary in a different way
love makes you a coward
it will reveal everything about you, your faults, and your complexes... everything

that's why in dramas, the good best friend type of guy does not always win since the girl already knows all the other guys faults so his good points are enhanced (the other guy being the stubborn type of guy who's usually the protagonist of the story)

but instead of being scared of being with someone cause it wont last, the true fear is of losing someone because you haven't overcome your personal fear nor have you made a move to do so. imagine a life without the person you love.

xxx
Aya Ōmasa

144: hey soul sister

I found this website that lets you anonymously talk to strangers online (like a chat thing)
It got me thinking about loads of stuff...
like.. theres this one time when one of them talked to me and was like, this is an anonymous chat and you'll never see me again for the rest of your life so tell me your deepest darkest secret.

i did btw.

and that person just said ok and left the convo.

but then that got me thinking..to that person I'm a stranger as well... and why did they want to know my secret anyway?
and theres the whole thing about being a STRANGER.
no one knows me, no one knows i'm lying, i can be anyone i want to be.
but that goes for them as well.. they can think im a complete idiot for believing whatever crap they say.
at first i just began talking crap like saying random things like I'M A NINJA and see how they reacted.
there was even one time when i talked japanese.
i got so many reactions.
then this got me thinking... on the other side, through all the lies and hidden identities there IS a living thing there.
and that goes for me too! I am a life too! but they dont know that, i mean they do... but they wont know me know me, so if i tell the truth it could still be a lie, and when i lie it might as well be the truth. they'll never know. yet when i type and talk, why do i feel like i still have that feeling, that i cant say it. my secret. or that im scared to show my identity. there is that whole trust issue. like, what if i actually thought this person was friendly, but like... was only pretending?
theres that whole feeling of betrayal as well.
but... its still fun.. like..
once i got used to the whole system i started saying motivational things like THIS IS IT. THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO GO FOR IT!
or THIS IS YOUR SLAP IN THE FACE. GO FOR IT!
And then I'll quickly exit so they dont have to reply. hopefully it cheered people up.
then it got me thinking... like i wanna hear peoples voices.
so i asked them things like what is the thing you love most in your life?
some people said things like, music, friends, family. (one even said photography!)
then there are those who are random and go DINASAURS
then there are the rude ones that go , I get to fuck
and then there are those who are just easy going and say; the fact that you came into it :D or everything :)

its so interesting.... that there are these lives we are unaware of. they are there! just, unnoticed they live they're path in the world they see.

one of the replies i got was i dont believe in love.
i hope i was able to change that persons life.

I want to use this to help change peoples life!
imagine... its like.. fate we met..
i mean apart from those rude bastards that just go on to find a lame way to get laid and fuck on the net. but STILL its fate we met!

this is one of the best things ive found my whole life!
i get to meet people without really meeting them!

i met so much nice people :):):)

it sucks that as soon as i close that window, theres no way to meet them again.

xxx

Maki Horikita

143: this is an unposted post..

I'm sick today :( Yesterday I had an epiphany in the shower, after the shower I ended up sleeping with wet hair. I guess this sickness is a sort of payment. Anyway, what was my epiphany? I cant really tell for sure how important it is now... it seems so distantly in the past. I feel like I've been reborn into something that is completely different from what I was before. I feel like after solving this "issue" something else comes up in my life that I have to solve, so it sort of feels like I cant just sit around and keep thinking of that which has already passed and been solved?

One of my current issues now is the whole ADDICTION TO JAPANESE STUFF.
Its been 3 years since I was addicted.

Those who want to protect something are weak, but you know, people who dont want to protect anything, no matter how strong they are, won't win in the end.
xxx
Miura Haruma

142: LAN

Yes. Today I went to LAN

Happy chinese new year btw. to all those who celeberate. to all those that dont happy valentines day!

so anyway... I went to LAN! CNY celeberation in school ended at 11 so after that I hung out with Nikki, Krish, Alethea, Charlene, Ryan, Bennett, Yuru, VIkesh and Mccoy. We played counter strike. It's actually really hard. Marcus is the PRO at this (apparently.. I havent seen him play yet.. And if I did I probably wont be able to tell) I didnt book a computer (too scared) so I ended up just taking turns with Charlene (fellow noob) Alethea and Mccoy. I got bored cause the rest started to play Left for dead (nicknamed 4D, i keep forgetting.. so im always like huh?) that was more zombies, so Charlene didnt want to play so I ended up playing Call of duty (which I kicked ass in... since its a solo game..) Then Charlene and Alethea went on facebook then I just ended up behind Bennett the rest of the time watching what he does. (Which is completely fine :D:D)
Then we went to eat at mcdonalds, me and Charlene went to red mango to get frozen yo.
We then met up with the DOTA crew, consisting of Lip, John, Daniel, KW and other people... Daniel KW and John decided to come with us to watch a movie. The movie started much later so we had loads of slack time. We hung out at the basement of cathay (proffessionally avoiding viewing distance of people from my job that has completely forgotten about me and still hasnt paid me...) Everyone borrowed money from me -_-" so a lot of people owe me money on wednesday -_- shit they're never gonna pay me back huh... as in right away -_-... anyway I had loads of fun :D:D so it was worth it. We watched Lightning Theif, whcih wasnt so bad. I got to sit next to Bennett :D:D yay. Everyone was so nice and it really felt like I was part of something :D:D I loved it.

What happened to Anisha?

Janis's birthday

oh yeah.. happy birthday...

xxx
Chinen Yuri