152: WOW haven't blogged in so long

The gate was locked, so you jumped it, and let me in.

xxx

151: QUIZ

what if...

1. There was a maggot in your soup?
ask for new soup.

2. You woke up and only McDonald's and Starbucks exist ?
FATT!!! my thighs will inflate! T_T and I'll die young. but THATS DAMN GOOD FOOD.

3. Pokemon were real?
ooo... :D:D:D gotta catch em all ;D

4. You walked around your block naked?
why would i?? thats super embarrassing. i better win some good money

5. The person of your dream was finally yours?
SO HAPPYYYY!!! >.< xDxDxD

6. The world ends in 24 hours?
gonna eat a LOT

7. You could have 3 wishes but you had 10 seconds to say them?
wish to control time ;D

8. You could never die?
AWESOME!! i can like free fall without worrying about a thing!

9. There was beauty pageants for men?
project runway already exists ;)

10. Models were short and fat instead of skinny and tall?
i think the world will still be the same... heart disease will go up and macs will do better though

11. We celebrated Halloween like a dark Christmas?
christmas already has santa clause!

12. Girls wore boxers and guys wore panties?
they already do ;)

13. Santa, the easter bunny, and the toothfairy really exist?
ill stay up all night on christmas with a gun

14. Music could give you cancer?
i wont mind having cancer

15. Your parents arranged who you had to marry?
i wont mind... as long as its for good reason. saves me the trouble too

16. You could star as a character in your favourite cartoon?
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i've always wanted to be in sponge bob :D:D:D:D:D

17. You got to try out on American Idol?
thats embarrassing.

18. Your parents were spies, superheros, or something cool when you are not home?
ID KILL THEM and get SUPER PISSED

19. Your life or death depended on any game of your choice?
NOT rock paper scissors. id die

20. You became a parent 1 year from now?
O_O... my youth has been destroyed! i play sims, i know what kids do!

21. There was a breakfast cereal named after you?
COOL!! JUSTINE O'S! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

22. You could talk to inanimate objects?
I dont need to text people anymore! I can just TALK TO MY PHONE!

23. There was 10 more 'What If' questions included this as one of them?
people will read my blog longer!! and i dont have to do bio!

24. You were the only person in the world to have unlimited gas for your car?
yay. save the environment :D

25. You woke up as your opposite gender?

.i'd be scared to pee.

26. With the snap of your fingers, any problem you would have could disappear?
i'll have strong finger muscles at the end of the day

27. It was against the law to eat more than one meal a day?
SHIT T_T

150: fame monster

Celeberaties are weird beings, before they became where they are now they had to make a conscious decision and effort and will power to get to where they are now. They had to work hard, for what? To make others happy, to entertain them, they are entertainers after all. For money? for fame? for the art sake of it? what do these people get out of working hard? then the people on the other side of the screen are desperately wanting to be them, to join them. cause it all looks so glamorous and fun. you get attention, money, glamorous lifestyle and clothes etc. so what is there to lose?

isnt hard to get there?

dont you miss out on a lot of other things?

isnt it lonely.

why do these people I watch and admire looks so happy? if their work is so hard, why are they still happy?

i think people dont want fame and fortune, but they want happiness.

I want to be someone that makes people happy, inspire them, make them dream.

I've always had this weird fascination and interest with the people inside the screens I constantly admire. And this Kpop song by Gdragon called A boy, I was addicted to it at first cause the tune was nice. I dont know korean so I never really bothered knowing what the song meant, then I searched it today and it kinda hit me, like, insight-fully majig.

It's deep in the night but I can't sleep Fighting against the worsened headaches Twisted and turned until I was deep in my thoughts then grabbed the pen again The lyrics that I’m writing with no space in between have my philosophy My room that’s filled with white smoke is cozy like home sweet home I’ve came here with no rest since I was 13 My mightiest weapon was my confidence When there’s an uphill there’s always a downhill Too late to go back I can’t let go Remember back in the day Your shining dream, I cannot forget that dream Don’t forget back in the day boy Shout to the world with your cool voice, shine a light G-dragon whatever people say about how you’re too young I’m G-dragon whatever the others say whao~ People say they’re jealous of me because I have too much Celebrities all live a comfortable life Be in their shoes for just a day You’ll realize what you see isn’t everything As time passed by my loneliness grew The sense of duty was the heaviest burden for me When there’s an uphill there’s always a downhill Too late to run away I wanna go Remember back in the day Your shining dream, I cannot forget that dream Don’t forget back in the day boy Shout to the world with your cool voice, shine a light The tears and sweat from the past 10 years The cold tears you’ve held back ah ah ah ah lets start again Remember back in the day Your shining dream, I cannot forget that dream Don’t forget back in the day boy Shout to the world with your cool voice, shine a light (Just once) Remember back in the day (Go back) Shining dream (Huh) I can never forget (forget) That dream then (huh) Don’t forget back in the day(way back) boy Shout to the world with your wonderful voice shine a light Come back to me now (even after 10 years) Come back to me now (even after 10 years) Come back to me now Come back to me now (The past days, my youth) Remember back in the day(It's time to shine) I can never forget (that’s choice) Don't forget back in the day (dropped to you by GD) Shout to the world with your wonderful voice shine a light

xxx

just for today

Korean aliens

BIG BANG

149: araso? korean aliens

Which Big Bang boyfriend would you want in these situations? Part 2!!!

1. When I buy him clothes as a present and he doesnt like it…

a. TOP: smiles and lies trying to compliment it saying it’s pretty

b. GD: takes my hand and goes to the shopping mall explaining why he must exchange it for his fashion purposes

c. YB: smiles and tries to start a different conversation

d. DS: gets overly excited and exaggerates his thanks

e. SR: wears it on the spot and jumps up and down the sidewalk

2. When I am jealous due to his relationship with one of the female celebrities on TV

a. TOP: holds my hand.

b. GD: explains logically says its not true… then goes on TV and explains to the world its not true as well.

c. YB: stutters trying to explain continously, then sighs saying he’s sorry

d. DS: laughs and seeings ‘Look at Me GiSoon’ with my name in it instead

e. SR: Acts cute and says “Are you being jealous right now~!?’ in a cute voice

3. When I’m away from my phone and another guy sends me a text hitting on me

a. TOP: deletes the guys number

b. GD: presses ‘Call’ on the number right away.

c. YB: pretends he didnt see it but gets quiet

d. DS: tells me i got a text and gives me suspicious looks

e. SR: smiles and lets it go infront of me, then goes home and tracks the guy down texting him evil messages

4. When he comes to my house without a word but I look like a ‘pain’ (no shower, havent washed hair, sweats, etc etc)

a. TOP: Washes my hair for me

b. GD: Makes me a schedule on ‘how to not be a pain’ and makes me write a written oath that i will never be a ‘pain’ again

c. YB: lies to me and tells me he hasnt washed his hair for 4 days either

d. DS: sits down on my couch like nothings wrong and watches Dorraemon

e. SR: Gets too shocked and scared that he cant even come in the house

5. When I get a sickness and must die the next day

a. TOP: treats me like the normal days but never lets go of my hand

b. GD: swallows/hides his tears and says “Lets live today to the fullest/Until the day ends lets live like no tomorrow”

c. YB: ends up crying and doesnt know what to do

d. DS: pretends he didnt hear and keeps making me laugh

e. SR: cant stop crying and just keeps taking pictures with me

6. When he walks in on me cheating on him with someone else

a. TOP: without a word, punches the guy and takes me with him

b. GD: gives me his ring (couple ring), cellphone and walks out without a word

c. YB: makes a conversation with all of us

d. DS: says “Oops, got in the wrong place” and walks out

e. SR: gets very mad and cant control his anger so he throws and breaks furniture

7. When meeting my parents and they dont like him

a. TOP: goes on his knees

b. GD: says “(name) is pregnant” *he would be banished in my household xP

c. YB: smiles and says he wants to marry his first love

d. DS: tries to earn points by singing ‘Look at me Gwisoon’

e. SR: kisses me infront of my parents and shouts “(name) IS MY LADY!”

8. When he sees that I’m in the audience while hes performing

a. TOP: never takes his eyes off me until his performance ends

b. GD: ignores me because i make him nervous and focuses on making the performance perfect for me

c. YB: is so happy that he keeps smiling and messes up his dance

d. DS: puts in customized moves by him for me

e. SR: acts cute infront of the camera

9. When I tell him I’m going to get plastic surgery

a. TOP: pretends he didnt hear and secretly slides a picture of ‘surgery-gone-wrong’ pictures for me to see

b. GD: gives me his credit card

c. YB: tells me im more beautiful now and says no.

d. DS: insists if i do it, hes definitely doing it too

e. SR: listens to me and then makes fun of me

10. When I say Im going to a resort for university

a. TOP: tells me to have fun and come back

b. GD: keeps asking me if guys are gonna be there too

c. YB: says its okay but you see him starting to pout without realization

d. DS: suddenly gives me DorraMon and tells me to think of him when i look at this

e. SR: says “Take me too”

11. When watching a movie together and its some serious 19+ sexual content…

a. TOP: tries to switch the mood by being funny

b. GD: ……asks jokingly “…can you do that?”

c. YB: cheeks turn red, starts pourring nose bleed and faints

d. DS: “oh fun stuff~” and enjoys it

e. SR: suddenly whips his head around and looks at me

1. When I fall and hurt myself

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who gives me a piggy back ride to the hospital

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who makes fun of me because I fell

c. Dong Young- Bae, who runs to go buys medication

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who helps me get home

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who asks if it hurts a lot and blows on the place where it hurts

2. When I say I want a name brand item

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who buys a fake one and says later on, he’ll make it a real one

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who pretends not to listen but buys it for me later

c. Dong Young-Bae, who promises to buy me one once he makes more money

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who keeps saying not to buy expencive things

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who keeps asking if he can buy me something else

3. While watching a horror movie

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who protects me

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who quietly covers my eyes

c. Dong Young-Bae, who comforts me by saying there’s nothing to be scared of

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who holds my hand tightly

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who screams even before i scream

4. When my voice crack while singing

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who pinches my cheek and says i’m cute

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who laughs at me

c. Dong Young-Bae, who gets even more embarrassed than me

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who pretends he didn’t hear it

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who makes fun of me by imitating me

5. When his friend says he likes me

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who says what are you trying to do and breaks ties with his friend

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who goes up and punches his friend

c. Dong Young-Bae, who talks it out with his friend

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who says he will introduce another girl to his friend

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who stops talking to his friend

6. When I’m mad at my boyfriend

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who starts a serious talk by asking me if I’m mad

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who says I’m sorry and says don’t be mad

c. Dong Young-Bae, who sings to me

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who makes me laugh

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who does cute stuff around me

7. When my boyfriend meets my friends

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who compliments me in front of my friends

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who asks my friends to watch over our relationship

c. Dong Young-Bae, who makes me feel good by complimenting my friends

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who makes my friends comfortable as if they were his friends

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who asks my friends to consider him

8. On my birthday

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who takes me some place expencive

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who treats me better than other days

c. Dong Young-Bae, who makes me a special present

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who sings to me on a stage at a restaurant

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who says happy birthday all day long cheerfully

9. When we kiss

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who hugs me tight first

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who just does it

c. Dong Young-Bae, who asks first

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who becomes awkward first

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who asks if I can give him a kiss on the cheek and turns his head when I’m about to kiss his cheeks

10. When it’s raining and we only have one umbrella

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who shares the umbrella but he ends up getting wet

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who holds me really tight so both of us don’t get wet

c. Dong Young-Bae, who give me the umbrella and he walks under the rain

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who tells me to wait and go gets another umbrella

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who just tosses the umbrella and have both of us to walk in the rain

11. When I say I want to break up

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who lets me go, saying he’s sorry he didn’t do much for me

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who is dumbfounded and says he never thought I’d break it off

c. Dong Young-Bae, who asks if he can hug me one last time

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who says farewell and lets me go, crying

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who clings and anxiously asks why I’m acting like this suddenly

12. When we go to the amusement park

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who suggests to ride what I want to ride

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who suggests to go to the haunted house first

c. Dong Young-Bae, who takes lots of pictures

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who eats this and that

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who forcefully takes me to scary rides

13. When he is paying at a restaurant but has no money

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who is sorry but asks if I could pay for now

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who grabs my hand and runs

c. Dong Young-Bae, who has them keep his belonging until he can pay

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who calls his friend to bring some money

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who is anxious and doesn’t know what to do

14. When I talk to another guy

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who thinks it’s no big deal

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who tells me not to talk to other guys

c. Dong Young-Bae, who can’t say anything but actually bothers him

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who is curious and sneakingly wedges in the conversation

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who later asks what we talked about

15. When he can’t reach me through the phone

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who says he’s worried

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who comes to my house right away

c. Dong Young-Bae, who lets it by, thinking something must have happened

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who calls until I pick up

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who gets mad because I didn’t pick up

16. When I tell him I love him

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who whispers in my ear that he loves me

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who kisses me

c. Dong Young-Bae, who hugs me without saying a word

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who smiles, embarrassed

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who hugs me tightly, saying he loves me too

17. When we’re shopping

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who says it’s boring and wants to go home already

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who picks out clothes for me

c. Dong Young-Bae, who does everything I want to do

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who impatiently follows me around

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who enjoys shopping more than I do

18. When I act cutely (like a kid)

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who thinks I’m cute and hugs me

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who says I’m not doing it right and shows an example

c. Dong Young-Bae, who tells me to do that everyday

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who just laughs

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who copies me

19. When we get held up by a gang

a. Choi Seung-Hyun, who fights them

b. Kwon Ji-Yong, who grabs my hand and runs

c. Dong Young-Bae, who makes an effort to clear things out

d. Kang Dae-Sung, who calls the cops

e. Lee Seung-Hyun, who leaves me and runs away

xxx

Sakurai Sho

148: What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you

I'm turning 16!!!!!!!!!! In like 9 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm kinda sad cause I dont get to have a big party like I hoped. I just want to have a really fun time with everyone... and dont have to worry or stress about being a hostess, thats why I really enjoyed my previous parties (cause they're not my responsibility) And I wanna dress up on my sixteenth birthday!!!
hmmm, i dont really know what else I'm stressed about, I dont really wanna celebrate my SIXTEENTH you know.. cause honestly I dont see it as much of a big deal, I really just wanna have fun with everyone, but without the context of me being a hostess and like, worrying if everyone is okay, and stuff... And plus I'd feel like, "can everyone really mix together?" something along those lines
and if I just take the bandits out, I'd feel really bad cause I can't say "thank you" properly to other friends (YES i have other friends, -_- and I DO get text messages..)

And I'm obsessed with japanese boys again

and korean drama

personal prefference ;D

"We'll Take Control Of The World If That's All We Have To Hold Onto, A Dream"

xxx

Ohno Satoshi

147: i don no tourist

A few days in japan from Charlesque on Vimeo.

xxx

Matsujun

146: never ending

http://hmmiwonderwhatif.blogspot.com/

check it out ;D

oh and i got bangs that looks (a lot -_-) like this person's -_-

xxx


inoue mao

145: burning the midnight oil... hopefully i can wake up for school tomorrow

I just finished watching this drama series, and it taught me a lot on relationships, like the super basic stuff... its not that deep.. its more of a slap in the face
so here it is!

even if we were to be in a relationship wed lose interest of each other once we see each others faults.
relationships are scary in a different way
love makes you a coward
it will reveal everything about you, your faults, and your complexes... everything

that's why in dramas, the good best friend type of guy does not always win since the girl already knows all the other guys faults so his good points are enhanced (the other guy being the stubborn type of guy who's usually the protagonist of the story)

but instead of being scared of being with someone cause it wont last, the true fear is of losing someone because you haven't overcome your personal fear nor have you made a move to do so. imagine a life without the person you love.

xxx
Aya Ōmasa

144: hey soul sister

I found this website that lets you anonymously talk to strangers online (like a chat thing)
It got me thinking about loads of stuff...
like.. theres this one time when one of them talked to me and was like, this is an anonymous chat and you'll never see me again for the rest of your life so tell me your deepest darkest secret.

i did btw.

and that person just said ok and left the convo.

but then that got me thinking..to that person I'm a stranger as well... and why did they want to know my secret anyway?
and theres the whole thing about being a STRANGER.
no one knows me, no one knows i'm lying, i can be anyone i want to be.
but that goes for them as well.. they can think im a complete idiot for believing whatever crap they say.
at first i just began talking crap like saying random things like I'M A NINJA and see how they reacted.
there was even one time when i talked japanese.
i got so many reactions.
then this got me thinking... on the other side, through all the lies and hidden identities there IS a living thing there.
and that goes for me too! I am a life too! but they dont know that, i mean they do... but they wont know me know me, so if i tell the truth it could still be a lie, and when i lie it might as well be the truth. they'll never know. yet when i type and talk, why do i feel like i still have that feeling, that i cant say it. my secret. or that im scared to show my identity. there is that whole trust issue. like, what if i actually thought this person was friendly, but like... was only pretending?
theres that whole feeling of betrayal as well.
but... its still fun.. like..
once i got used to the whole system i started saying motivational things like THIS IS IT. THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO GO FOR IT!
or THIS IS YOUR SLAP IN THE FACE. GO FOR IT!
And then I'll quickly exit so they dont have to reply. hopefully it cheered people up.
then it got me thinking... like i wanna hear peoples voices.
so i asked them things like what is the thing you love most in your life?
some people said things like, music, friends, family. (one even said photography!)
then there are those who are random and go DINASAURS
then there are the rude ones that go , I get to fuck
and then there are those who are just easy going and say; the fact that you came into it :D or everything :)

its so interesting.... that there are these lives we are unaware of. they are there! just, unnoticed they live they're path in the world they see.

one of the replies i got was i dont believe in love.
i hope i was able to change that persons life.

I want to use this to help change peoples life!
imagine... its like.. fate we met..
i mean apart from those rude bastards that just go on to find a lame way to get laid and fuck on the net. but STILL its fate we met!

this is one of the best things ive found my whole life!
i get to meet people without really meeting them!

i met so much nice people :):):)

it sucks that as soon as i close that window, theres no way to meet them again.

xxx

Maki Horikita

143: this is an unposted post..

I'm sick today :( Yesterday I had an epiphany in the shower, after the shower I ended up sleeping with wet hair. I guess this sickness is a sort of payment. Anyway, what was my epiphany? I cant really tell for sure how important it is now... it seems so distantly in the past. I feel like I've been reborn into something that is completely different from what I was before. I feel like after solving this "issue" something else comes up in my life that I have to solve, so it sort of feels like I cant just sit around and keep thinking of that which has already passed and been solved?

One of my current issues now is the whole ADDICTION TO JAPANESE STUFF.
Its been 3 years since I was addicted.

Those who want to protect something are weak, but you know, people who dont want to protect anything, no matter how strong they are, won't win in the end.
xxx
Miura Haruma

142: LAN

Yes. Today I went to LAN

Happy chinese new year btw. to all those who celeberate. to all those that dont happy valentines day!

so anyway... I went to LAN! CNY celeberation in school ended at 11 so after that I hung out with Nikki, Krish, Alethea, Charlene, Ryan, Bennett, Yuru, VIkesh and Mccoy. We played counter strike. It's actually really hard. Marcus is the PRO at this (apparently.. I havent seen him play yet.. And if I did I probably wont be able to tell) I didnt book a computer (too scared) so I ended up just taking turns with Charlene (fellow noob) Alethea and Mccoy. I got bored cause the rest started to play Left for dead (nicknamed 4D, i keep forgetting.. so im always like huh?) that was more zombies, so Charlene didnt want to play so I ended up playing Call of duty (which I kicked ass in... since its a solo game..) Then Charlene and Alethea went on facebook then I just ended up behind Bennett the rest of the time watching what he does. (Which is completely fine :D:D)
Then we went to eat at mcdonalds, me and Charlene went to red mango to get frozen yo.
We then met up with the DOTA crew, consisting of Lip, John, Daniel, KW and other people... Daniel KW and John decided to come with us to watch a movie. The movie started much later so we had loads of slack time. We hung out at the basement of cathay (proffessionally avoiding viewing distance of people from my job that has completely forgotten about me and still hasnt paid me...) Everyone borrowed money from me -_-" so a lot of people owe me money on wednesday -_- shit they're never gonna pay me back huh... as in right away -_-... anyway I had loads of fun :D:D so it was worth it. We watched Lightning Theif, whcih wasnt so bad. I got to sit next to Bennett :D:D yay. Everyone was so nice and it really felt like I was part of something :D:D I loved it.

What happened to Anisha?

Janis's birthday

oh yeah.. happy birthday...

xxx
Chinen Yuri

141: The second first day.

I have finaly bought a 2010journal. It is yellow like my wallet.
I went out with anisha, janis and zoomoogoo (Tsumugu)today. It was fun! :D:D
we went around taking pictures of people in their workplace for portrait project. It was really annoying and got me super pissed off how there are loads of impolite people out there!! Like that asshole in the LAN game place. that shithole smelt like pot, no wonder that ileterate bastard was so fucked up. dorky fucker. but there were loads of nice people too!! :D:D
like this lady in a guitar shop, she was so cute and adorable. she was so considerate, and the guy from subway, and the girl from the boardgame shop, and some people in cathay, and that dude from the magic shop, he did a magic trick to pose for the portrait :D what a guy.
we asked a lot of people, the feeling of rejecion sucked. it was like a slap in the face, but being allowed and accepted felt much more special thanks to fucked up pot smokers from LAN.

then janis left and me and anisha walked all the way to orchard cineleisure to take neoprints! :D It turned out awesome! but i hit my shin :( (which is now a painful bruise) I drank a banana milk shake and anisha had a donut. :D then we met up with tsumugu!
anisha went home cause shes lame, so me and tsumugu went around 313 and bought cold rock! (CAUSE HES NEVER HAD THEM BEFORE!) then we went to borders and bought my stuff, then we went to orange julius, then we went to the japanese bakery across borders and bought pudding :D:D:D then we went back to borders to go to the bus stop. :D what a simple yet interesting day :)

we had con malay on the roof again today :D
it was relaxing. wish i brought my camera :( (oh well plenty more opportunities! MUST bring it on anishas bday!)

which btw I have a perfect plan for :D
(anishas bday)

which no one else knows about. :D but who cares. as long as its not ruined.

especially by me. hopefully.

theres nothing to do online anymore, all my japanese goodies have gone, and i have no friends on facebook (actually its just boring) playing games online feels more like a waste of time, and ive done so much homework that... i hope it was more interesting so i can do more.

damn i wish i had a scanner and put the neoprints up online, but i dont. life sucks that way.

i have no feelings today to say
thats why this post is dry
actually i have a lot of feelings to say
im to sleepy to be bothered

pangolins suck. im stuck with them, im saving them and i dont even see them, they better give me one of there scale things when im sick.
isnt it better to save human kind then pangolins
damn justine your so selfish.
well screw you

xxx
Nakama Yukie

140: Life recycles itself

School life has begun once again. It only truly feels like a new year when school starts. Orientation has ended, the first two days were tiring, a slap in the face to prepare me for the rest of the year! I can't wait til school starts next week, but a bit scared. But whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. (Though I do expect to die of stress this year...)

School is so far a breeze and I try not to let my guard down and relax to much. Work shall punch me right in the gut sooner or later... next week.

So now for my inner most "thoughts and feelings"

I haven't bought a 2010 journal yet, although handwritten work feels more personal to me and much easier to express (although typing is much faster) I shall have to bare with it til I buy myself a new journal.

Some very significant events that has happened that I have been avoiding to express lately are:

1) Friends
2) Home life
3) Future

1: No other then Krish and Ramsay! These guys should get an award for being the most mentioned in my rants. Ramsay moved away, yes? And so he came back for the holidays, he didn't even contact me (which is understandable, I know I could contact him first... but there has to be a reason why he didn't call first. So it's kinda _____ hm.. to call him first... and plus he's with that annoying indian midget. If I called Krish will probably be like *laugh* it's Justine, oh dear, hang up. And the both of them would do some stupid prank and then tease me and calling first in the end will be POINTLESS)But then again... it could be my imagination... (or NOT)

So during orientation, Nikki, Pearl and I went to cathay to eat. Pearl called or Ramsay or Krish called her (something... they just contacted each other) and they decided to come to cathay as well to meet up. Then when they heard (actually saw... I saw them go down the escalator and saw us then go back up) that Nikki and I were there they called Pearl again and asked her to ditch us and go by herself to them. (Such nice people) And Pearl, being so nice, was able to convinve them to bring us, with her awesome skilz (Note:sarcastic)So in the end we were able to meet them..
While writing this I actually realised something. Pushing away the person you love isn't love. All this time, if I wanted to talk to him, I should've approached him first. It's most likely he's pissed at me for ignoring him. Sorry :( I should go up and talk to you. But, I'm scared to in front of people... Like, it feels weird, by going up to you like everyone else is... I feel like I'm just "everyone else" Sorry, but friends are allowed to be selfish arent they?

Today in school we had a mass game of ultimate ninja, it was the most fun I've had, the most included I've felt. Then after school I was able to hang out with some year ones. I'm so :) right now, knowing that I have friends outside my group. Though I still feel abit... out, though these people are the ones who accept me, so I shouldn't push them away right, just cause I'm scared to be judged by others and noticed or acknowledged by others that I'm friends with "that" group of people instead of "these" people. But actually, now, I'm REALLY glad I have friends, whether they really truly accept me, I should just accept them right? And selfishly find my own happiness.

2: Well every family has its issues dont they? Honestly I'm wondering myself why I'm not as bothered. Perhaps cause of that lingering thought in the back of my head that's become such a huge excuse to these problems keeping me safely intact to my sanity. But whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger, and whatever we overcome makes us closer.
Hopefully, this family can see the night sky filled with fireworks together once more.

3: And now the most scariest part of all... If I were to meet a fortune teller, I would honestly be speechless, and in fact be even more scared. I'm somewhat glad that I dont know whats going to happen tomorrow, though it'll be nice to have an idea, a vision, a goal. I dont really have one. Well I do, mini ones. But, you know those really passionate people? Or those people that have a career "option" not exactly a dream or anything inspiring, but at least they have something in mind. Anyway, those passionate people and those that at least know where theyre going have a vision, and a "feeling" that this is the right choice, the choice that makes me the happiest, or something I'm satisfied with so I can earn some cash easily. Something like that right? But, even though I have goals, and usually when I have a goal I do work towards it. But these future goals, are so, ever changing. It never keeps still. It's like a tie-dyed colored puppy running around in my head. I have so many things I would love to do, that its hard to chose. And when I think of one that can get me all of what I want, and then I try to go towards it, my heat all of a sudden stops in a "this isnt a good idea," or "lets stop" way. Like "this isnt really your true feelings" Is it cause I'm scared of hard work? Or scared to make mistakeS? Or is it cause now that I know where to go, it feels like that path feels more blurry. Now that I have a goal, planning towards it is like a blank canvas. Which color do I add in first? What picture will I end up with? Although I am aiming to paint this picture, it definitely wont turn out exactly the same way, so I wonder...

OH well...
I hope I can be stronger and happier, more optimistic throughout the year. Maybe I should just not think about it so much. I should be more outspoken and sincere, I should stop calculating my actions, words, emotions. Hopefully I find the confidence somewhere. Cause I have a feeling that all these Japan things are kinda havinga bad effect on me, like making me more introverted.

yikes


xxx
Ueda Tatsuya

139: In 2009 I...

I confess that in 2009, I have...

(x) stayed single for the whole year
( ) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
(x)celebrated Halloween
( ) kissed in the rain
( ) had your heart broken
( ) broke someone else’s heart
(x) had a stalker (my dear Gelin ;D)
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) had a relationship with someone you’ll never forget
( ) done something you’ve regretted
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe

OTHER
(x) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( )shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(x) posted a blog
( ) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
(x) went camping
(x) threw a surprise party(mine counts?)
(x) laughed till you cried
(x) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) visited a foreign country
( ) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
( ) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you

In 2009 I…
( ) broke a promise
(x) lied
( ) went behind your parents back
( ) cried over a broken heart
( ) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
( ) slept under the stars
(x) kept your new years resolution
(x) forgot your new years resolution
(x) met someone who changed your life
(i'd love to though..) met one of your idols
(x) changed your outlook on life
( ) sat home all day doing nothing
( ) pretended to be sick
(x) left the country
(x) almost died
( ) given up something important to you
( ) lost something expensive
(x) learned something new about yourself
(gmaX) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(x) made a change in your life
(x) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great people
(I'm not THAT stupid) stayed up till sunrise
(x)cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
( ) had a high cell phone bill
(x) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
( ) went to the beach with your bf/gf
( ) saw a celebrity
(x) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(x) became closer with a lot of people

xxx
Tanaka Koki

138: Deffying Gravity lyrics :D

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And never bring me down!
bring me down!



xxx
kamenashi kazuya

137: NEW YEAR

'Tis a new year :D don't you just love the metaphorical significance of my blog title :D I think its very poetic. My obsession on a level out of 10 is a 7. So no worries. It's a very educational and semi healthy obsession. I am still aware that I have no life in being this way. (though that statement can be argued with.. but I am in no mood) It's a new year, and my year usually begins with my parent's birthdays. yes. jan.1&2. what a way to start the year ladies and gentlemen.

MY HOPES AND DREAMS THIS YEAR

1. To lose weight.
2. To study harder and be more dedicated/comited
3. Be more positive
4. Be more productive
5. To find more inspirations in life
6. Be less of a hypocrite
7. Be more independant
8. Delete enough messages in my inbox so my phone can ring once again
9. Watch less dramas/be in dream world a little less often
10. Exercise more

hopefully that about covers everything...

hopefully..

signing off

This year I shall sign off with a Japanese alien

xxx
Akanishi Jin